Wishing you a melancholy flavoured Christmas

I've a heartache that's burning inside,

and my chagrin I really can't hide,

my heart is weeping this year,

'cos Christmas won't be filled with cheer.

Now, your tender hearts here may be stirred,

to enquire 'what on earth has occured?

What's with all this pain and this woe?

What has happened? Can we not know?'

I sob as I tell you my lot,

this year I've given up chocolate.

No chocs will be passing my lips,

if that isn't heartbreak, what is?

Now, here you may laugh and jeer,

'what is this nonsense we hear?!

A non-chocolate Christmas, we feel,

is hardly a dramatic ordeal!'

But when I remember Christmases gone by,

a tear, fair comes to my eye.

picture this - Christmas Eve, silent night,

brought to life by a chocolatey bite,

on my bedstead my stocking is hanging,

and the clock, four hours is now clanging,

my stocking is beckoning me,

it's bulging and glittering in glee,

not with toys, nor with silly Christmas cards,

I know chocolate at three hundred yards!

I leap up with no further reflection

it's a Thornton's Continental Selection!

As I munch on my chocs Christmas morn,

and my curtains are warmed by the dawn,

there's peace on earth, right now,

and goodwill to all men, do I vow,

(such enlightenment can only occur

on a Thornton's hazelnut swirl.)

So you see why this year it's so hard?

Why from now on I'll always be scarred?

'But there is a solution,' you say.

'get some chocolate and be on your way!'

At one time I'd not have thought twice,

and my cholesterol did pay the price,

(I don't believe all the hype, I might say,

high cholesterol's big business these days).

Nonetheless, bad habits I should break,

and better ones I must undertake.

And you ask 'why on earth should you grieve?

when you chose to turn over a new leaf?

This cannot be classed as a tragedy!'

and yet still I yearn for your sympathy!

Yes, for your compassion I plead,

for my heart aches most dreadfully,

no heartache, I say this much,

equals giving up choccies at Christmas.

But of course, my will is unbent,

so I've really no cause to lament,

and my will must be unwaivering,

else I'll be craving that chocolatey flavouring.

And deep down, I'm sure I do right,

my cholesterol - I must keep that in sight,

I'll accept that my fate is this way,

I'll be munching no Cadbury's Milk Tray,

though this Christmas I know, in my eyes,

there's no 'Ding Dongs' no 'merry on high's,

I'll be strong and stoic instead,

and not one chocolate tear will I shed,

with a peaceful heart I'll then see,

my chocolate-free Christmas tree,

in self pity, no more shall I wallow,

no chocolate this year will I swallow.

I confess, I'll yearn Christmases gone,

for it's mixed nuts for me from now on.